he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
