You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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