I can tuck mytits in my pants
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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