I didn't shave. On purpose
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
