Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
