Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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