I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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