I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
