I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
