and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
