If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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