am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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