Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
