I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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