I swear she didn't look like that last week.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
