Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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