I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
