Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
it glows. i had to have it.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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