Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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