well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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