a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
