she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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