Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
