i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
