Moan for me like Helen Keller
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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