honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Randomize
