I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
