please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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