stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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