the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
