I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
