dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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