Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
