Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Green mimosas i think yes
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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