The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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