he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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