pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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