Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
