i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
