spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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