Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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