dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
