Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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