but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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