It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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