Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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