She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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