i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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