How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize