i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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