Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize