if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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