He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
your like the ambassador to my penis.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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