Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
