did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
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My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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