weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
