Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
