I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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