THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
