I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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