Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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